For it is God who works in (insert spouses name) to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. -Philippians 2:13
Trusting God for my desires, wants, and fears can be extremely difficult. But trusting God for my spouses’ heart seems even scarier. When we attempt to control our spouses’ actions, we show the root of our issues: a lack of trust in God.
If we are trusting God for our own spiritual well-being, then why should we not trust God for our spouses’ spiritual wellbeing as well? Our need to control our spouses comes from fear. We become afraid our spouse will make a wrong decision, choose the wrong thing, or live the wrong way. Yet the same love that God lavishes on us, he is lavishing on our spouse. The same trust that we put in Christ for our lives, can be given to our spouses for their lives.
Paul David Tripp in his book, “Awe” says this: “Only when my heart is progressively in awe of the agenda of one vastly greater and wiser than me will I surrender my schedule to him and be willing to wait on others.” God wants us to be in awe of his agenda, so that we will release our control of the people around us to his timeline.
In every trial or separation you experience as a couple, God has an agenda. He has a plan. He desires unity in your marriage. If you are not in agreement with your spouses’ decisions, don’t try and control their actions, but instead trust that God is working. Trust that God sees the big picture.
God knows exactly where your heart is, and exactly where your spouses’ heart is. Instead of trying to control your spouses’ actions, give them up to God. He desires to work a good work in you and your spouse. He desires ultimately to bring you together in unity. Just as God uses different gifts in the body of Christ to accomplish one purpose. God says, “There are different ways of working, but the same God works all things in all men” (1 Corinthians 12:6).