“Lord, You have searched me and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely.” Psalm 139:1-4
I was talking to my counselor recently and I said, “I just feel like he doesn’t understand certain things. I try to explain myself and my heart on certain issues, but he doesn’t get certain things. Then I am left feeling alone.”
“Stop RIGHT there,” my counselor said. “You can’t go to marriage to be understood.”
“You need to go to marriage to give love, and he needs to go to marriage with the same mindset; to give love.” “You are traveling down a slippery slope when you desire that he understands you, he will never be able to fully understand you, only Jesus can do that.” “You go to Jesus to be understood, fully known and fully loved.”
We all long to be KNOWN, but that feeling of isolation should speak to the gaping hole in our own hearts that can only be filled with Jesus. Why do we go to other humans first and foremost to be known, when we are already known by the God of the universe?
I think many of us walk around with this idea that IF THEY ONLY KNEW _____ then ______. I think this can be echoed in motherhood, If he only knew how much running around I do during the day, how hard my day was, how tired I am, how much these kids screamed, how much the baby was up last night, if he ONLY knew…well he might tell me to take a breather and go for a walk or he might have helped in the kitchen.
First off, we all think that way. So, one of us has to peel off the blinders and be attentive to the other. Secondly, how small am I to belittle the fact that the KING of KINGS ultimately already knows these things and he still loves me.
God has provided us with limited abilities to understand each other, and others which means I want to make these four smart choices:
a) Live to LOVE others unconditionally despite my own limited knowledge.
b) Ask questions, use active listening, and ask the Holy Spirit to help me understand others.
c) Don’t seek connection to be known by someone else, seek connection to know someone else.
d) Turn to ONLY Jesus to be fully known and loved.
In the end, God does know _______ and he still LOVES you and died for you and God did make us for human connection, but BOY God has taught me that we can be sanctified through the process of disagreeing, and being misunderstood.